Unbearable pain

On Monday I found out that I would be getting pepper sprayed on Tuesday. Everyone in the group was freaking out and psyching themselves out, yet I stayed pretty cool thinking it wouldn't be terribly bad since I've rubbed my eye after cutting habaneros and other peppers in the past. In the end, I shouldn't have underestimated the power of pepper spray.

To put you in the right perspective, a habanero pepper is one of the hottest peppers around, and it is rated at 300,000 SHU's. The pepper spray that was used was rated 2 million SHU's. It royally kicked my butt. Not only did we get sprayed, but we had to go through a variety of different skills and tasks afterwards. I only expected the pain to last 45 mins max since thats what the manual said...but the intense pain didn't go away till about 3 hours, and it was still quite painful all night. My face felt completely burnt to the point that my skin felt like it was melting, my eyes were screaming in agony and were slamed shut, and a stream of snot kept on running out of my nose. I just pray that none of you will have to go through what I went through. One guy said, "I'd rather be in Iraq for 1 month getting shot at then get pepper sprayed again."

Well...thinking it was all over this morning, I still had a huge migrane headache and still had some "heat" from the spray that intensified when I took a shower. LOL it's funny looking back on it, but it is definitely something I'd never wish to experience again.

Taste of Greatness

If you were able to attend the home season finale at the Rose Garden earlier this week, then you have witnessed a glimpse into the future. The Blazers were written off as lottery bound before the season began when our highly coveted #1 draft pick suffered a season ending injury. All of the momentum that had been built up in the previous season had been stopped before the new season began. The sports analysts and the national media all wrote off the Blazers, who traded away their best player (Zach Randolph), and the sudden loss of Greg Oden. All of this made the finish to the season all the more sweeter when the 3rd youngest team in league history finished the season with a .500 record.

Here are my top 10 most memorable Blazer moments of 07/08

10 - Buying a ticket package when the Blazers were losing & buying season tickets
9 - Being selected to the Fan Advisory Board
8 - Travis Outlaw's clutch shot off an isolation -
7 - Getting my article published in Rip City Magazine
6 - Martel Webster's 24 point 3rd quarter
5 - Travis Outlaw's buzzer beater to start the streak
4 - The 13 game win streak
3 - Back to back Sergio to Outlaw alley oops to end Fan Appreciation Night
2 - Getting the number 1 pick
1 - Brandon Roy's famous layup

At Fan Appreciation Night, Ty got the magazine with La Marcus' autograph and won a jersey.

At last!

I have just received word today that I am officially a Sheriff Deputy. I AM SO EXCITED! These past three months I have spent countless hours studying, researching, training, and preparing for this job. I have been nervous during each step of the process. There has been countless interviews, tests, background checks, unofficial hires, and now, finally an OFFICIAL HIRE. Originally, I was told I would start sometime in early July, but I was just told that my official start date will be May 19th. I'm not sure what kind of programs and schedules they will have me doing the next few months, but I was hoping on going on a trip before I started the job. Since my start date is about 6 weeks earlier, I may have to postpone this trip.

Music to my ears

It's been awhile since I last wrote. I've been so busy with life that yesterday was my first chance to relax. Long story short, I bought tickets to Ingrid Michaelson a few months back for someone who is really into her music. Since then I kinda stopped talking to that person and instead of letting the tickets go to waste I took one of my favorite people instead, Dee. Well the concert was in a very small venue called the Wonder Ballroom that seated a lil over 700 people. It was my first 'indie' concert. All the other acts were great (with the exception of one). Everyone was extremely talented and wrote heartfelt lyrics. All the performers were extremely funny in between songs as well. I have to say that I didn't know any of the other performers other than Ingrid, but I came away falling in love with Meiko. LOL. Her talking voice was just so sweet. She was funny, and had really creative lyrics as well. All in all the concert was great, and Ingrid was awesome. I look forward to seeing them again another time.


Dee and Me

Meiko performing

FINALLY!

Over the past few weeks I have been studying non stop to pass my written exam for the police. I have been reading multiple test prep books, training, doing memory exercises, and learning about police history to prepare myself for the exam. I focused on areas that I was deficient in as well as refreshed areas where I already excelled in so that I could ace the test.

The test took place in Hoffman Hall at Portland State, a building I have been very familiar with these past few years as many of my science courses were held there. I was prepared, confident, and in a pretty comfortable setting. I AM GOING TO PASS! All of a sudden the real test begins, and I am completely OVERWHELMED. Oh man it sucked. I feel like I performed quite well, but it is hard to walk away confident.

After the test, I walk out and the sun that was once shining had been replaced with a heavy rain storm. I then check my messages and see that my friend who I planned to take to the Blazer game ended up flaking out on me again (it's pretty typical of her), but that is another story. It seemed like everything was against me at that point, but I refused to let the weather, Jeni, and my confidence get the best of me. I was determined to not let anything prevent me from enjoying the game. When I got to the Rose Garden and I flipped open the Rip City Magazine and saw...



Cool eh?

It's such a relief that one of the biggest hurdles for me this year is behind me. I am also nearing the end of my treatment for my motor vehicle accident as well. It is so great to finally be able to go back to normal life as I remember (actually I forgot what it was like) it.

Media Brainwashing

People are so impressionable that its scary. I like how people say, "Oh advertising doesn't work, I don't buy things cuz I see it on tv," yet they don't realize that TV influences other parts of their lives. I've heard the following at least 4 times now and I couldn't stay quiet when I heard it today. This person in their mid 20s (my age, who will remain nameless) said "Bill Clinton is the best president in my lifetime." I said "Are you effing crazy? Bill Clinton was not a bad president, but to say he is better than Ronald Reagan (Reagan has had more electoral votes than any other president and won 49 out of 50 states during his reelection) is a slap in the face."

This prompted me to look on the net at polls of presidential rankings.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historical_rankings_of_United_States_Presidents

All I can say is Phil 1 Anonymous Person 0.

Life goes on

After making a successful comeback to school, the weekend before Fall 07 semester, I was involved in another serious car wreck (again not my fault). It felt as if I was being knocked off the mountain after being so close to the top. This whole accident situation has been a mess in my life. All my injuries previously have resurfaced so school and any physical activity was out of the question. I've had traumatic flash backs as well as extreme anxiety in relation to cars in general now.

It took a lot of searching to find the best doctors and specialists to help me in the recovery process, and I'm extremely grateful to have so many great people surrounding me. Although I have been skeptical about different alternative medicines (I am a biology student after all), I was so desperate to recover that I was willing to try anything. I was introduced to the world of acupuncture by Sarah Hayes from Acupuncture Northwest. After being treated by her I felt like I was in the fast lane to recovery. I can't emphasize enough how helpful acupuncture has helped me deal with not only pain but mentally as well. I strongly recommend it to anyone who feels that Western medicine only hides and masks symptoms with prescriptions but does not solve the underlying cause.

I am happy to report that I am pretty close to recovering. I have gone through enough adversity in the past few years that I feel like I can accomplish anything at this point.

Uncertainty

Growing up I had always believed that I would have a career in the medical field. Throughout my life I valued a quality education and avoided temptation in order for me to achieve my goals of becoming a medical professional. Although I did my best to control my future, the fog of uncertainty always looms in the distance. It's amazing how 1 minute of your life can change not only your goals, but your life in general.

On November 12 of 2004, I was involved in a severe motor vehicle accident that left me injured. Although my memory isn't what it used to be this incident will forever be ingrained. I had decided that morning to drive to school early so that I could study for my Biology exam. A pedestrian decided to bolt across traffic during rush hour. He was lucky that I saw him well in advance in order to avoid hitting him, however I was not as lucky and got rear ended. Although I left the scene of the accident physically unscythed , I had suffered undetected wounds that still haunts me today.

I went to my exam feeling the rush of adrenaline from my accident, but was still confident enough to post a solid grade. Prior to my car accident, I was an extremely strong student, often placing near the top of my class. I had a strong GPA going into Biology that term. It came as a shock to me that I got a D on that exam, however I dismissed it as I blamed the distraction of my car accident. Yet, exam after exam, my grades did not improve. School had always been so easy for me that it was to the point of boredom, yet now I was working hard but not for A's...I was working hard to just pass now.

I spent the next 7 months in depression as I could not perform physically or mentally. It wasn't until July of the following year that I was properly diagnosed correctly by my physicians. In addition to the soft tissue damage I suffered, they determined that I suffered from a Traumatic Brain Injury and Post Concussive Disorder. That day marked the biggest change in not only my life but my recovery process.

After my car accident, it was obvious that I was not performing well mentally, yet other parts of my body were acting up. I was sweating profusely when it was still winter. I would not feel hungry after going all day without food. I would not know when to stop eating once food was in front of me. My brain could not regulate any of the normal processes at all.

The recovery process was long and hard. There was numerous road blocks ahead of me. Concerned about my future I asked my counselor what my options were, and she told me that sadly pharmacy school or any other medical school was out of the question because of my grades. What was the most frustrating is that I was misdiagnosed by my doctors, and had I been diagnosed properly I would have taken time away from school to salvage my GPA.

I don't know how many of you have worked so hard for something, only to be disappointed in the end. My friends were beginning to desert me, and my girlfriend even left me. For the first time in my life I hit rock bottom. There was nothing more I wanted in life, and unfortunately I put all my eggs into one basket. I lost my faith in the Lord and could not understand why he would test my faith in a way such as this.

Now any person could have just given up on life (and I was close), yet I couldn't let just 1 minute of my life dictate the rest of my life in such a negative manner. I focused hard on rehabbing and returning back to school better than ever. I had to accept the fact that although I may never be a Doctor or Pharmacist, that I still had many other skills. I returned back to Portland State in the fall of 2006 and although it was difficult, I fully recovered not only physically but mentally as well. Life was going great. I had an awesome job working for the Department of Homeland Security, my grades were back, and I was armed with a new outlook on life. I felt that if I could successfully recover from my accident, that I can tackle on any challenge thrown at me.

First Post

Well there has been a lot going on in my life these past few years, and I want a way to be able to express my thoughts, feelings, opinions, and experiences in a way so that I can share it with others and for me to reflect on. Since I'm a Google Shareholder, what better way to do that than blogging on blogger.com?